THE BORDER REPORT

Just received another email from a college kid’s parent, worried about their safety on Spring Break in Mexico this year.

I’ve had a good dozen or so of these questions thrown at me this year, some from Americans who want to travel to Puerto Peñasco, some from parents worried about their kids heading to Mazatlán or Cancún. And the University of Arizona starts its Spring Break today, so today’s as good a day as any to get into this.

The short answer is yes, your kids are fine. Yes, they can go down to Mexico and sun on the beach, drink, tan, fornicate and have a great time.

(On a side-note here, crusty old folks like to imagine that Spring Break kids are raising hell, pillaging their way through sleepy Mexican towns and vomiting in the streets. The closest I’ve ever seen to that behavior are the middle age suburbanites at Mardi Gras. I’m sorry to report that Spring Break in Peñasco is generally a dull affair. Last year, I think two college kids were arrested in Peñasco for drunk and disorderly conduct.)

And no, I don’t believe that the Sinaloans have any interest in capping a college kid. None. The political fallout from whacking some twenty-year old UA engineering major is far more trouble than the kid would be worth. Ditto for kidnapping.

That doesn’t mean it does not happen. Such violence happens anywhere. There was an incident with a botany class from the UA that nobody likes to talk about to this day. Happened some seven years ago or so when a professor took a group of students down to the Alamos, Sonora, area, San Bernardo to be precise. Enriquez Parra territory. The group was held at gunpoint, one of the women was raped. As far as I could ever tell, the university never publicly acknowledged the assault.

Now that’s  San Bernardo, a lawless hillbilly town two hours up a shit dirt road from Alamos. It’s a town characterized by Tucson author, Richard Grant in his book, God’s Middle Finger. That’s not Peñasco. And if the only example I can find is nearly a decade old, that either says something for Mexico’s general safety or its law enforcement’s capacity for silence, more likely, both.

The U.S. State Department, I noticed, is watering down its Mexico travel warnings these days.

Here’s acting p.r. flack Robert Wood at a press conference last week:

“… what we’re talking about here is just basic common sense, not doing things that you – you know, that you wouldn’t do normally. You know, Mexico, like many other countries, has issues with crime. But if you’re sensible and you take the right steps and exercise caution, you’ll have a great trip … “

Myself, I think college students are safe in Mexico. Calm down, calm down, take a deep breath; respíra. Okay? You alright? Good.

The likeliest scenario I can predict is nothing happening. That does not mean nothing will happen. I don’t have a crystal ball.

I threw the question at an associate in the State Department who gave me the best answer I think I’ve ever heard on the topic.

“That’s a shit question to ask somebody. How are you supposed to answer that? Look, I don’t think anybody is going to shoot a college kid on purpose but they could have one of those rolling gunfights they’re so fond of or you could be in the same restaurant as someone who’s about to die.”

Her advice: “Hope like shit you stay out of their way.”

My advice: Move on. Go to Mexico. Have fun. Tip well and try not to act like an ass.