Shorty Goes Big
Mar 17th, 2009 | By Michel Marizco | Category: Organized Crime, Politics
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So Shorty finally made the big-time.
The five-foot-two Sinaloan gangster who, according to the FBI dossier sitting on my desk, was born on Christmas day in 1954, made it to Forbes Magazine’s top billionaires of the world.
Granted, at 701st place, he’s a little low on the list, tying with a Swiss oil baron and the granddaughter of the Campbell Soup inventor (And why they chose this homoerotic shot is beyond me.)
Shorty’s worth $5 million to the Feds and the rumor is that his bounty’s about to go up to $10 million. But what’s he really worth?
Now, putting his worth at $1 billion, complete with asterisk, Forbes made a best-guess estimate of Guzmán’s value. It doesn’t help matters that within two days, Forbes was issuing a statement “deploring” Chapo’s wealth. It made Forbes sound defensive which makes me even more suspicious about their information. And their number’s too low anyway.
The magazine came up with the number by factoring in the $18 to $39 billion worth of money laundering that went down in 2008 in Mexico and Colombia.
Of course that’s only what those countries law enforcement authorities copped to, and, that’s only cocaine dollars. It says nothing for the marijuana industry controlled wholly by the Sinaloans. As unsexy as it sounds, good ol’ marijuana is still the bread and butter for most traffickers.
So I decided to ask around a bit and try to get a better answer.
The first person I asked was the Forbes editor who told me in an email that the methodology for determining Guzmán’s worth was “proprietary.”
Sure it was. Eardrum (and other orifice) extractions are usually the property of the person doing the pulling.
“There’s no way Chapo’s worth $1 billion, the number’s far higher,” says an FBI agent working the border, one of these guys who have been around since Amado Carrillo and Bill Clinton.
“Listen, the U.S., Mexico and Canada move some $147 billion a year in narcotics. And Chapo controls most of that business.”
I took that number to a businessman in Tijuana: “If you figure the average business is pulling in a twelve percent profit margin, you’ll get your answer,” he says.
Take both of those figures to a retired cop. Not that I needed him to do the arithmetic for me, but I was headed over to his place Sunday afternoon for cold beer and old stories. If I could only determine how much control Chapo wields, I figured, I could nail the number down.
The guy whistled, popping the top off another bottle of Negra Modelo with my cigarette lighter. “A lot,” he says, with that infuriating grin, half-sage, half-joker that he is. “More than you,” he says. “More importantly, more than me. Who cares?”
Maybe that’s the better question.
In 1989, Forbes listed Pablo Escobar as the seventh richest man in the world with close to $25 billion in personal wealth.
And when he died, cuando le dieron el raite al contrario, he went down like the lowliest of desperados, his aged, plump body lifeless in the street, surrounded by grinning soldiers and his mother.
The Anglos ignore all this, cheering Guzmán’s placement on the Forbes list, acting like those anonymous twelve-year-old YouTube fans of his corridos.
“Forbes entry of Joaquin ‘El Chapo’ Guzman proves that crime does pay,” trumpeted the Guardian’s story, right above that same mugshot of Shorty.
His inclusion on the Forbes list underscores “the growing power of the country’s cartels,” worships the Bloomberg News Service story, as if Shorty had just won a trophy.
Meanwhile, Mexican leaders decried the whole affair, expressing their dismay at Shorty’s instant cred.
“They are canonizing organized crime,” said one Catholic archbishop in Acapulco.
I’d be interested to know how Shorty feels about his new-won fame.
But I’d be much more intrigued to know how Mayo Zambada and Nacho Coronel feel about the whole affair.
DUDE YOU THE SHIT U GOT ME ROLLIN HERE WITH THE RAITE COMMENT AND I AINT EVEN MEXICAN
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QUICK COMMENT AND THIS IS WORD OF MOUTH ON STREET TERMS NACHITOS PAPER IS LONGER THEN MAYOS AND CHAPO
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What was that, LMAOO? What paper?
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this is all a set up to put pressure on the mexican government to catch him….. too much press is bad for business
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Michel, I really don’t think LMAOO knows what he is talking about, plus he has to learn how to write….. do you agree???
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Drift, bad for business???? They love the press what about Corridos???
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Backpackers get paid $1,000 (USD) to hump 45-50 lbs of MJ 20 to 30 miles on foot across the border. I don’t know if this helps with any final numbers, but I think it shows marijuana is still a pretty lucrative business.
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You’re right, Tantos: Mexican MJ definitely remains a lucrative busines.
But what I’m currently trying to find out is if the street price of Mexican MJ is on the increase or decrease here in the US of A.
Anybody know? For sure?
Meanwhile, my Vermont daughter tells me that her friends who prefer toking on Mexican MJ over swilling a glass of Costco wine, have actually been paying less for the weed all the way up there in Burlington.
Which suggests, under the law of supply and demand, that all the billions the US has been spending to keep the weed out, is failing.
I also keep wondering about that obviously sophisticated distribution system that keeps all those Vermont potheads happy with their beloved weed. Vermont is almost 3,000 miles from the MX border.
I sincerely doubt that’s it being run by “illegals.”
Come on, folks, we all know it’s getting all the way up to Vermont by folks likely wearing anglo names – via FedEx, UPS, and the United States Postal Service itself.
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I pray the Vermont State Police are kicking in your daughters door as I write this message.
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haha…el chapo is nothin more than myth…da one’s with da money r el mayo r el coronel… but da jefe de jefes n el azul r da deepest…el chapo is so broke that he couldnt even provide decent security fo his edgar… the piece of shit toyota fj wasn’t even blindada…haha…u would think mr.money bags chapo would at least spend a couple thousand on some blindaje… y arriba el rancho la palma… ya mero sale el Tio alfredo…
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You really need to learn how to read, Vincent.
My daughter is not a toker.
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Maybe I’m wrong (because I don’t partake) but I heard that in places like Vermont you actually have to pay Americans to smoke Mexican MJ. Apparently the Canadian bud is much better and pretty cheap close to the northern border.
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Vincent Hanna, since I am a big fan of HEAT, I won’t comment on the other really good story as to not make the impression that I am trying to antagonize Jack (unless I have something really, really good). But on this story, I don’t know how you can compare alcohol to MJ costwise. I do know that the street price used to be triple for a 1/4 bag in the midwest cities for what it cost in Arizona. I heard that it is more expensive, but the increase sounds in line with normal inflation.
However if the weed IS coming from Mexico, Jack, you can bet the Mexican illegals ARE hauling it and/or watching it to its final destination. American criminals are too unreliable.
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ROFL my daughters friends who are potheads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THats a good one!!!
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I didn’t catch that the first time, guess I’m a little slow “swilling” my glass of Tecate w/lime… It only took me half a semester to figure out I needed to lose my roommate who thought he was Bob Marley incarnate.
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