THE BORDER REPORT

Ahh, the border. It becomes the lunatic’s version of the office bicycle every time somebody wants to use it to prove their points. This particular trivialty carries the potential to go so wrong, it’s almost kind of right. A group of “activists” plans to cross the border without any identification on Saturday to prove a point against NAFTA and the Iraq War. The People United, some group out of Virginia, intends to cross the Sonora border somewhere between Nogales and Sasabe with whatever they can carry on their backs. I’m assuming they don’t mean dopeloads (that happens enough and I’m not sure the Sinaloans need the help).

It gets a little old with these "activists." Everybody's an activist these days and when it comes to the U.S.-Mexico border, apparently, the goofier, the better.

In the 1990s, it was Pat Buchanan, walking back and forth across the goddamned thing and preening for the cameras. In the early 2000s, it was the American Border Patrol, secreting a briefcase stuffed with foam rubber and stamped with WMD across its front, running up from Naco to the federal courthouse in Tucson.

Then the Hannity and Colmes duo, jumping back and forth in their own histrionics.

Next up, The People United. They claim they'll be walking through the desert on their trek, which leaves some room for skepticism. The desert's a pretty big place; exactly how far are you planning on walking? Fifteen miles to Arivaca? Or 55 to Tucson? The Weather Service says it's going to be a cool 88 degrees Saturday; I'd be more impressed if you went ahead and tried this in mid-May.

Oh, don't get me wrong; I'm very impressed with the work of non-governmental organizations who actually do something on the border. American Patrol loves to embarrass the Feds by posting video of people crossing the line through the ports. The Samaritan Patrols and Humane Borders have steadfastly saved I don't know how many people from dying in the desert (so do Border Patrol agents but that story usually doesn't get the attention of the ngos).

But this smacks of sheer attention-hoeing. I've noticed from their Web site that this group is eager for press coverage of their walk and I find that kind of self-congratulatory preening distasteful. In a few weeks, the season of death for illegal migrants is coming upon us – if it's ever really stopped – and I find this kind of thing worse than silly. There are far more important issues than getting your name in print. Go help Mike Wilson put out jugs of water on the Tohono O'odham Reservation if you want to make a point.

I wish the group a good trip, and even moreso, I hope them an uneventful trek. The less attention for the feverish, the better, I always say.