THE BORDER REPORT

I don't know what the El Paso sector of the U.S. Border Patrol is expecting to be coming at them from Juárez, but I guess it was only a matter of time.

The agency is now taking bids for armored personnel carriers at this sector along the U.S.-Mexico border. I found their Request for Proposal during a routine check of federal government bids and I must say, I'm not sure what the Border Patrol needs these things for but who didn't see this coming? In the swinging-dick world of law enforcement acquisitions, I'm a little surprised we didn't already have these along the border.

To be fair, maybe it was time for an upgrade. Mostly, the agency subsists off Chevy Tahoes and Ford F-350s with aftermarket racing components, though I've noticed they upgraded their supervisors cars from Ford Crown Vics to the low-slung and stylish Dodge Chargers, a car that all cops seem to love because, I'm convinced, it resembles the Batmobile.

I've also noted that the Policia Federal Preventiva also upgraded to Dodge Chargers, so hey, kudos to the Chrysler Corporation for landing contracts for the two law enforcement agencies with the highest recruitment rates in both countries. Someone's been paying attention.

Anyway, like I was saying, Border Patrol relies on Chevy Tahoes and in 2003 it introduced Humvees for its medical units. Other than that, it's mostly quad-runners and horse patrols.

For the poor guys who have to monitor areas like the western slice of the Nogales, Arizona, port of entry, the agency retrofits its Tahoes with steel mesh screens to ward off rock attacks.

Having just had my own Tacoma "rocked" by some angst-filled little bastard lobbing stones over the border wall in Nogales last week, all I can say is pile on. (I'm happy to say that a phone call to a .. um, friend, put a stop to that shit right away and got me a new windshield since I don't think the Geico windshield rock repair policy covers anarchists.)

I do enjoy the wording of the Patrol's bidding request:

"The DHS-Customs and Border Protection requires the following items, Brand Name or Equal, to the following: LI 001, Armored Personnel Carrier, equal to or better than the Lenco BearCat."

It had best be bigger and better and brand-new, the agency's telling its bidders.

To give you an idea of what the Border Patrol wants, here's what Lenco has to say about its own Bearcat:

"Lenco armored trucks are built with Mil-Spec steel armor plate certified to defeat multi-hit attacks from 5.56 Ball and 7.62 AP ammo, while ceiling and floors provide enhanced blast and fragmentation protection."

So these things are designed to withstand bazucasos, which is nice – except that I've never heard of a drug cartel launching rockets across the border.

It could be that the agency is planning to use these things for its BORTAC units, but again, the agency mostly patrols the border. It's ICE, FBI and DEA that knock on fugitives' doors, not Border Patrol agents.

And I don't think that an eight-ton, $190,000 turbodiesel truck is the best tool for patrolling the dirt roads of the Mexico border.

Unless, of course, the Border Patrol is terrified that something major is coming up this way and they're not waiting quietly for it to arrive.

Whether the Border Patrol knows it or not, it's just stepped up the ante and is now gearing up for war.

-- Michel Marizco

You can read the full text of the agency's bidding proposal here.